I’ve been glad of the chance to edit some of Ghetufool’s work lately. Writing is something I’m driven to by an impulse that won’t be denied. So what to do when writer’s block strikes? Turn to religion, I suppose, as people do when they feel vulnerable and melancholy. A fellow-blogger friend distinguishes the stratagem of “God is love” from the stratagem of “sex, drugs, hobbies, sports, money”. Yes, and if the chance arose today I’d gladly go and earn some money and find a day’s fulfilment there. Failing that, I’m tempted to finish the red wine, just to set my “artistic temperament” a-flowing. Still, I want to tackle religion, that honey-trap for the unwary, that bonfire of the sanities. Oddly enough, over the last few days, wandering the suburbs under a cloudless sky, stopping to talk to ladies in their eighties tending their front gardens, letting the sweat dry on my cheeks, seeing the last of the cherry-blossom, pink as cotton-candy, fade on the ground under the trees---I have discovered I am on the side of religion: not against it as I carelessly thought.
I have certain religious beliefs of my own. 1) I should not disparage or praise anyone else’s religion. 2) I should not promote my own. 3) I should not disparage others for behaving contrary to my first two beliefs.
I have no other beliefs: not in God, Devil, Saviour, Commandments, Love, Enlightenment, sin, Heaven, any form of afterlife. I don’t disbelieve them either. Apart from the three listed above, I try and avoid beliefs altogether.
What is religion? I think it is the inbuilt urge to sacrifice and renunciation that arises in Nature. The gods must be propitiated. I learnt this long ago from a book, but I understand it now, not as an intellectual rationalization that some anthropologist might have deduced, but from my own case. When I feel life’s emptiness, I instinctively do penance.
Again I ask myself, what is religion? It is to give thanks and to beg for help. This is prayer. I don’t need any deity to whom to address my prayers. I find that within this human body the urge to pray comes naturally, without need for any particular theology.
What is my own religion? To get my bicycle wheels out of the tramlines. To untangle myself from other people’s reality, and face my own. My method is to immerse myself in nature: my common and individual human nature, as well as the ambient world as I find it. To untangle, I may argue against all ideas, all intellectual stuff: my own as much as everyone else’s. In my hierarchy of human wisdom, intellect is merely a tool, a servant: not a leader, prime mover, nor a generator of ideas.
The sweat dries unwiped on my cheeks. I pass a house I nearly bought last summer, with a beautiful view of the town. An old lady is tending her garden nearby and we have one of those conversations in which strangers compare their life-histories. I tell her I am from the valley below, from a little street cramped amongst old factories. She says she understands why I come up to the open view of the hills. I feel like Zarathustra, or Gibran’s Prophet. She is in no hurry to end our chat, but something persuades me to move on. I lie in a grassy meadow for a while, but the restless urge moves me on. (There's a similar encounter the following day: a wonderful conversation with a woman in her late eighties, only three teeth left. Her husband comes over to join in and we discuss the state of the world, and agree on everything.)
This cloudless day! When I feel oppressed, I think of those who are more oppressed, and send out my thoughts to them like a swarm of bees to settle in their village and produce them some honey. This too is part of my religion.
If you can enter the realm of nature, you can escape the tramlines of everyday consciousness. My meditation isn’t to sit cross-legged concentrating on the breath in its journey through nasal passages and lungs. There are dangers in that. I did it for more years than I want to mention, emerging still sane---if I have the right to judge on my own case. The meditation was embedded in a religion whose basic tenets were (1) the superior enlightenment of its disciples compared with the rest of humanity, and (2) the hopelessly inferior enlightenment of the disciples compared to the teacher. Do you understand how potentially harmful that is? My teacher did not in fact teach. He was a revered figurehead who spouted generalities. I am lucky to escape unscathed, reflecting with Nietzsche that “what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger”. If he had actually taught, it might have been worse. Not that I blame him. He didn’t insist on me being a disciple. Why did I enslave myself like that? Same reason as the other disciples, I suppose. We were brothers and sisters, greeting each other in the Hindi equivalent of “hail truth, consciousness and bliss”. It wasn’t what I wanted but it was easier to fall down into the trap than get out.
Nature is my religion now. In my body, my senses, the world around, my embracing of my home town, my beloved, my home. Oh, from all my years in a Buddhist-Hindu kind of thinking, I know that attachment to these things brings suffering. All can be taken away. I will die. But, I was taught, this human body is a most precious thing. All jivas beg for a human body. Man is the crown of creation. Yes, you might be born as a pariah dog. Or an intestinal worm. I don’t care. I embrace it all: the suffering and the joy. I might as well enjoy it whilst I am here. (This is not a sermon: you must do what you think right, not anything I might say.)
Why did I get caught up in all that Oriental religion? I think I was inoculated against Christianity at an early age, though at times I had to attend church twice on Sundays. Had I come across the right role-model, Christianity might have captivated me. The nearest I got to that was reading The Pilgrim’s Progress, aged 16. All my researches into Christianity have been secret. There must be a reason for that. I hated John Bunyan at first, coming across this hymn when I was 7:
Who would true valour see
Let him come hither
Here’s one will valiant be
Come wind come weather
There’s no discouragement
Shall make him once relent
His first avowed intent
To be a pilgrim.
I didn’t like the tune, I didn’t like the word pilgrim, not knowing what it meant: it sounded grey and grim. I love it all now.
As I dictate these words into my recorder, the sun beats down from a cloudless sky. I had thought to sit on a bench in the back garden with a cold beer, but something in me rejected it indignantly. Of my own accord I wanted what in my inward thoughts I carelessly label “a penance”: “A pilgrimage” would be more exact. I see myself as a monk, striding among the Chiltern Hills, actually the suburbs of this town. I discovered The Pilgrim’s Progress on a day like this. I was not solitary by choice then, just lonely, staying at my grandmother’s house. I had also been reading a book by Madame David-Néel about Tibet, in which, dressed as a beggar woman, she had witnessed a lung-gom-pa, one of those “legendary lamas who by means of psychic training could rush nonstop across vast distances of rugged landscape, running without end.”“By that time he had nearly reached up; I could clearly see his perfectly calm impassive face and wide-open eyes with their gaze fixed on some invisible far-distant object situated somewhere high up in space. The man did not run. He seemed to lift himself from the ground, proceeding by leaps. It looked as if he had been endowed with the elasticity of a ball and rebounded each time his feet touched the ground. His steps had the regularity of a pendulum. He wore the usual monastic robe and toga, both rather ragged. His left hand gripped a fold of the toga and was half hidden under the cloth. The right held a phurba (magic dagger). His right arm moved slightly at each step as if leaning on a stick, just as though the phurba, whose pointed extremity was far above the ground, had touched it and were actually a support. My servants dismounted and bowed their heads to the ground as the lama passed before us, but he went his way apparently unaware of our presence.” (Excerpted from this site.)
I mention it only because I twice at that age accomplished similar feats, quite spontaneously.
So my true religion, now, at my time of life, is that of William Blake, as in his Proverbs of Heaven and Hell: not to renounce desires but to discover them, trust them, obey them. I don't see a separation between body and soul. That is not a belief, but a fact, a perception.
This is already too long. It's crude, thrown together. But my writer’s block is broken for now. Enough.
22 comments:
it's not crude. instead, i found it pretty balanced and well pondered over writing.
i love to consider myself a religious man but when Gods, through the sacred literatures, demands that i should not love anything and anybody except Him, for He is the creator, a certain sense of revolt engulfs me.
at one hand my religion preaches me to be free as a bird, on the other it tells me to go mad in love for the Almighty. quite funny. i never could understand this. if you want me to be free, why you want me to submit myself to somebody whom i never had seen or heard but might have felt sometime.
isn't it some kind of mean mindedness?
It was certainly well pondered over. In fact when you came and read it, I was still pondering it, and editing the text!
I have learned not to take the sacred literatures too seriously. They are clumsy attempts to tell us to follow a certain path.
I respect the literatures in a ritualistic way, for example the Bible. I feel it is sacred not for its content but for the devotion of so many millions of souls.
I tried to practise a form of bhakti yoga but I cannot say that it worked: just a form of self-punishment.
I cannot say it is mean-mindedness, because of my beliefs that no one's religion should be disparaged. But then I would not recommend any religion, even mine, to another.
It's interesting that you describe this as well pondered over because when I read this, I felt as though you were all over the place - with no real direction. Then, it could be, from your description, that you feel your religious nature is this way: scattered, and without particulars.
Not to say this is incorrect or unhealthy - I feel much the same way about my own spirituality. It has a way of ebbing and flowing, though it is ever present.
I think you have found your relationship with "God" (for lack of a better term) in much the same way Christ did. He met the doctrines, the standards, digested them and said, "This is rubbish!" I believe he knew what he felt inside, ultimately committed to it, and let the rest be history. It just so happened that he lived in a culture much like Syria, or Saudia Arabia today - he decided what he believed was inconsistent with their "law," and much like individuals who act on such beliefs in cultures like those these days - was executed as a heretic.
It wouldn’t surprise me if a delegation from the Middle-East met with political entities in Rome at the time, which ultimately led to Pilate’s decision to move forward with the execution.
As for literalists who collectively accept any man's writings as "holy" - forgive them. They know not what they do.
As for your spiritual journey, I believe you are on a right path. I believe this is true of anyone who seeks the source of life critically and thoughtfully, without blindly accepting someone else's standard or something that simply appeals to a palate.
"Well-pondered" was Ghetufool's expression initially. I found it possible to agree with him in that the content was the result of many decades. Also I have spent the last few weeks trying to write something that would unblock my writing.
But I said it was crude. It was a set of notes put together somehow, spontaneously, for I'm not trying to make it rational or conform to any direction.
Your other remarks are interesting. I'm only on the same path that everyone is - that straight timeline that joins birth and death. Some of us have the luxury to ponder, some don't - or not consciously. It is not easy to find words. Words are the tools for pondering. You have to create a toolset. It is more common to accept the toolset that you inherit, but then that constrains the discoveries you make.
The main thing I wanted to establish in the piece was the starting-point of "me" rather than an established body of scripture and interpretation. What do I need, rather than what is available.
I like the way you are able to consider Christ's life in that way: a little open-mindedly but still finding his life and teachings important as a focus and yardstick. I have not made such an independent study and the New Testament is still for me influenced by the lenses offered by teachers at school, theologians I have encountered, and popular views: all of which I more or less reject, taking the attitude that he is not relevant to me, any more than Mohammed is.
The fascination of religion or as you would probably call it spirituality is to make contact with people's first-hand experience.
Sometimes you have to use "shock and awe" to wake people up. But you shouldn't overdo it. You could end up pretending you are a zenmaster. And end up beating people up.
To do this you have to have faith. In what you are doing.
My young protegee don't suffer from this thing called writer's block. She can write short but excellent pieces everyday. It amazes me. She writes for AD, a local newspaper from time to time. And she writes in English. She's 17.
Perhaps my advice not to jabber won't do her any good.
I am a product of dogmatic and strict religious Christian upbringing thru British and American missionaries. I was a member of Intervarsity Christian Fellowship that teaches and preaches John Stott's Basic Christianity and C. S. Lewis' Mere Christianity. And that practices excommunication of worldly Christians. The indoctrination and experience led me to seek higher and deeper superspirituality.
As your post suggests, "religion" covers such a broad territory that as I read I found myself wondering what ties it all together.
My first reaction is to think: not much! The word "religion" includes reference to things as contradictory as responding to nature with tremendous peace and tranquility and launching crusades.
thank God for religion... :)
William Blake made me aware of paradox to appreciate more. "Religions are supplements for those who don't get enough spirituality in their everyday diet, but don't get me wrong, I've had many supplements already today!" That "bradism" came from dad saying, "don't let religion get in the way of spirituality."
Your three rules show that religion can be a personal belief, but the ability for unique interpretation is sold out to the nearest God Squad for so many.
Brad4d, I wanted to write about religion only in a totally positive way - as I recalled it being respected in my childhood. The only way to do that was to take a personal positive view - and make a principle of that!
Also I have not here made the common distinction between religion and spirituality. In fact I have not referred to Spirit at all, as if it were merely a "belief". I know it is not quite like that and will deal with it in a supplementary post.
Scot, indeed! I like to think that thanking comes before God. I can thank you, and if not i can thank God. Thank god for Scot!
God is often the x in an algebra of understanding Life, The Universe, and Everything; with Dawkins saying "You don't need the x, and others saying "You do need it."
Paul, yes, religion must surely be broad enough to include everything, if it is not to be a hobby. In fact I would say that a religion which is not everything to its adherent is an abomination that stinks in the nostrils of the Lord.
As I was remarking to Scot above, I considered that the only way to write about religion was to write about "my religion"; in which case it would be unlikely to launch a crusade. But you never know.
Completely unrelated, but you brought it up, Vincent:
I love that old show (and the book better). "So long, and thanks for all the fish."
Siegfried, thanks for your input. I just noticed your blogs - had got out of touch with them. I notice you are not opening them to comments!
I wouldn't use shock and awe to wake people up in any sense, or pretend to be a Zen Master. I would basically do what comes naturally at the time. I see there is a contradiction in that, for I cannot predict what I might do!
Your young protegee - is she like a daughter? Or a lover? At one time I was an admirer of CS LEwis as an author - especially I liked his novels, such as That Hideous Strength - but when it came to his Christianity, I didn't like it much at all!
But I have not heard of John Stott, nor of superspirituality. At a stroke you have devalued the ordinary kind of spirituality!
Tim, well, I brought up another title from the same author, Douglas Adams (for the benefit of other readers who might not have made the connection).
Yes, Douglas had no religion and mocked God a bit, but that hasn't dampened the affection in which is readers held him, regardless of their beliefs.
I'm not so sure that he mocked God so much as he mocked the sophomoric way in which many people tend to view, cling to, or proclaim God. Regardless, you have a new front-page post, so I'll move on with you.
Aren't these two things more or less the same? Mocking God and mocking the way people view God. After all the higher power is beyond the reach of being mocked, surely.
I trust myself very much. Eventho I can be very unpredictable. I'm quite safe and non-violent. Well, fear can sometimes make us lose control. Especially fear of losing control. Or fear of judgement, social, religious, and spiritual.
I treat her as a daughter since I'm too old for her. We pretend to be lovers anyway. Just to satisfy our neediness from time to time. Online that is.
I found something about REv. Dr. John Stott at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Stott and at http://www.langhampartnership.org/john-stott/
"Stott was appointed a Chaplain to Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom (1959-1991) and an Extra Chaplain in 1991."
"...some have called “the pope of evangelicals worldwide"
Superspirituality seems to refer to Pentacostalism and Christian charismatic movement.
I have been absent from blogs, forums and such for a little while as I have been occupied with the business of family and making ends meet.
But just finished reading through this and I thought I'd offer some thoughts.
I find words like "religion" and "spirituality" have been harnessed, and broken by those that would have you adopt their beliefs.
Your piece attempts to remove the bridal and release them to be free to inhabit the places they have been disassociated with for too long.
In the context you have invoked them, I can embrace them. They are then free of the toxins, that have latched on to them like parasites, and ruined them for the rest of us.
The way you describe your walkabouts brings to mind a kind of de-toxification. Shedding the shackles, the poisons that others have thrust upon you. I can relate to this as well.
I would agree that in we all are on the same path when it comes to such things.
Spiritual paths, or religious experiences, are not well represented in any organized religion or spiritual discipline.
The idea that there might be some who know better, or have achieved some special form of enlightenment, betrays an ironic lack of insight.
Long ago, I abandoned invisible friends, such as Gods or Deities. Like a child does when he grows old enough to see the folly of his ways.
The path is the same, what we absorb, or cast off, by choice or by fate, varies greatly.
The leaps of the fabled Lama could not have been so grand if he were laden with the baggage you have so deftly shrugged off in your travels.
Vincent, as usual, much to discuss and a good discussion going on. I read and wrote the following comment offline, here it is, then I want to add a few words in light of these comments, hope no one minds....
Vincent, given the help of your thoughts, seems to me that all religion is Oriental, and amounts to the systemization of that Nature you love to walk and be in freely without systemic behaviour. Much can be cited to show this, occults, the majors, etc, like you say, all jivas want to incarnate human, lol, that always gets me for I disagree with it, but it is the basis for them all, will to the crown.
And they all say to sacrifice and give up your self to the greater good, itself a 'natural' inclination of something, maybe fear? If so, then they teach to surrender to that fear and call it God, appease that and be free. Then the system takes over and you have no more free time, but you are free in servitude to your fellows, a new creature.
Christianity, born of the same material, seemed to give it a twist of individuality and freedom unheard of. By the witness of today that would be the freedom to conquer your fellows and make him a new creature of value based on material things, a consumer contributing to the common fabric of consumption, being consumed in the process, thus fulfilling the basic will to give yourself up and be free of fear, buy some insurance, receive penance, 'what a good boy you are.'
The socalled 'western' twist to the oriental systems. Even the feats are angelic, miracles abound, wonders never cease, climb the hill and spout the wisdom given you from the climb. Give them jivas reason to follow, followers are good in all the incarnations.
The hailed TRUTH is embodied in the word God, and no one will or can say what that is sufficiently to a doubter or inquisitor, so truth becomes all or part of the rest built round the word. Like life having to include suffering, or, like what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. For me these are not right and I reject religion as existing in this world because they serve to pacify, appease and placate whatever is True, and I can't stop at that, I have tried and found it unnatural and the creator of unnatural realities both good and bad.
Quite honestly, times like these, reading your writing, a post like this, so full of avenues and lanes, paths and sights, I return to myself of 2 years ago, wanting that other person who would reflect, hear, speak, and become the means to the adventure not offered anywhere in this world. I sense in a post like this, in your particular ramblings, such a person. But I have such a desire for this that I am often projecting this onto people, hoping, always seeking simply that. No religion offers it, no esoteric or occultic plan provides it, it doesn't exist unless it exist in a single individual without an attachment to the world in any way.
I am glad you got past the blockage, the writing is excellent, the depth is excellent, and the waters inviting. I enjoyed reading it and look forward to more of your work Vincent.
Now, as to the comment discussions...I disagreed with the early part of Tims comment, hence agreed with ghetufools. But I found the latter part, about the realities of Jesus and his situ in his time politically, very good, but disagree with some details.
Siegfried, another chance to speak to you...having been unable to blog much, I got quite behind on your blogs. Catching up somewhat last evening, I got a much better overview of your reality, and I like it very much, I admire your madness, your method makes you a fresh and advanced guru in my book. Of course I always knew you were, don't let this bother you.
Vincent, words like superspirituality, to me, are good, but like all the words religions hold dear, it too becomes worldly and then made trite, a product for the selling. Even gurus, after their climb to the top, thru the trials, become super everything, but succumb to the temptations of the trite and then are forced to live double lives, compromised. And by that I do not mean thru having to work for a living while being a 'god', but I mean by becoming, anew, immersed in the pollutants while spouting the purities.
Thanks Vincent, thoroughly enjoyable time visiting you.
Siegfried, Charles, Jim: thank you--and all readers--so much for enhancing this space with your comments. They add so much. they speak for themselves.
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